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delicatesserated pg with some Lite Swearing™ also there is some mpreg in this
"No dick is that good, A-Yao. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about."
Huaisang's voice is the first thing Xichen hears when he comes home and steps out of his shoes in the entryway, hanging up his coat and reaching for his slippers. There's a tasteful, small, blink-and-you-miss-it Gege embroidered on each of them, thin sky blue thread. A-Yao's idea, because he claimed that it'd make it easier to know which slippers belong to whom — Xichen hadn't had the heart to tell him that the size was enough of a giveaway and that the embroidery was way too small to provide any help.
In the living-room, A-Yao sits on the couch, his very own slippers embroidered A-Yao resting on the carpet. Huaisang is sitting — lounging, rather — on the other end of the couch, waving his wine glass at A-Yao. Xichen worries about his frantic movements for a split second before he sees the bottle of ginger ale on the coffee table and realizes that this will not be a repeat of the Huaisang Drinks Red Wine Vs. The Brand New Cream Leather Couch incident from last year.
"If you don't think your boyfriend's dick is that good then maybe you need to reconsider your choices." A-Yao says very calmly, turning his head towards Xichen as he nears the couch, tilting his head upwards so that Xichen can kiss him hello. "Hi, missed you."
Xichen hums. "Missed you too. Do you need anything from the kitchen? I'm going to get myself a little snack, I think."
Huaisang cackles but Xichen pays him no mind, too busy staring into A-Yao's eyes as he waits for a reply. "Lan Xichen, snacking before dinner time? Where is the good Lan boy I had a crush on growing up, uh? He was about this tall, would never forget to do his homework, went to bed at 9 every night, didn't snack between meals—"
"No, I'm good." A-Yao says calmly. He reaches up with one hand to cup Xichen's jaw, caresses it with affection. Xichen leans into it a little before he stands back up, walking towards the kitchen.
"Absolutely disgusting." Huaisang comments. "You guys are absolutely awful. I am sitting right here!"
"Do not be so negative in front of the baby." Xichen says sternly from the threshold, almost automatically.
"Good for you, I mean, Jiang Cheng would probably murder me if I ever was this affectionate with him in front of other people—"
"Please don't talk about murder in front of the baby." Xichen says.
On the couch, A-Yao brings a hand to rest against his belly protectively, a gesture that Xichen has seen him do so many times now that he's in his six month of pregnancy and yet, the absolute tenderness of it never gets old. He smiles without even realizing it. Huaisang makes a gagging noise and Xichen watches as A-Yao kicks at his shin with his foot.
"A-Yao, be careful, this isn't good for the baby."
"I need to get out of here." Huaisang says as he gets up in a rush.
"To go home to your boyfriend of seven years and have tender, long-term relationship sex? And then have dinner together in the kitchen he spent an entire summer renovating? In the house you bought together? Are you really sure the dick isn't that good, Huaisang, because you seem to have locked that shit down and—"
"I promise that the second you're out of the hospital and Xichen is taking care of the baby I'm coming over and—"
"Huaisang, be nicer to A-Yao, he's had a very long day." Xichen admonishes.
A-Yao has, in fact, not had a very long day. He'd lounged in bed until 9 after the baby had woken him up kicking at 7. His morning had been spent watching re-runs of cooking and home renovation shows. Xichen had come over during his lunch break as he did most days lately, cooked for the two of them and then let A-Yao give him an amazing handjob in the kitchen as he tried to clean up before heading back to the office again. He'd spent the entire afternoon distracted, his mind floating back to the moment when A-Yao had—
"Bye," Huaisang says dramatically as he moves towards the entryway, reaching for his shoes, "you two deserve each over."
"Huaisang, do you want to take some leftovers home? I made too much curry the other day."
Huaisang perks up and then visibly catches himself, remembering his pretend frustration. He sighs, a fake, long-suffering thing. "Sure, if you really want me to."
Xichen beams, making a quick trip to and from the kitchen and coming back with two tupperwares. "Say hello to Jiang Cheng for me will you? Tell him I'll get back to him soon about— Nevermind, just say hi to him, alright?"
Huaisang squints at him with suspicion. "Yeah, right, sure. Have fun with your boring married couple evening!"
---
((and then i couldn't figure out how to write it concisely but basically JC asked LXC for some advice re: proposals and LXC almost just put his foot in his mouth bc he's actually Very Stressed about the baby and also Latent Lan Horniness, and a-yao was going to be like "as much as huaisang is a menace, please don't ruin jiang cheng's proposal for him >:(" and then they'll have a snack before having actual boring married couple sex that evening because LXC wants to be careful ~for the baby~ The End.)
